My friend from germany made a twitter and I literally cry at all of his tweets
especiallygoodfinder: nepeter: australians dont have sex australians mate I spat out my coffee
thesickestjokes: Failed my Health and Safety test this morning.. One of the questions was: “In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?” “Fucking large ones” wasn’t the answer they were looking for.
cybersleepover: are u blind? are u curtain? are u drapes?
pizza: i’m going to name my daughter casserole so then she’ll get the nickname cass and people will be like “oh, cass is short for cassandra, right?” and she will have to explain to them her name is casserole
theblackship: qtmaster: moriartyisqueen: chaystar: obiwanskenobi: Read More holy shit I was not prepared omg i haven’t seen this in about 2 years IM SO HAPPY
megabot1000: A woman casting a curse in a CVS. i bet she has a soft grunge blog
exuberant-imperfection: I FOUND OUT HOW TO MAKE...
superironwhore: senorpacman: [THE LOCH NESS...
rabioheab: i can’t believe that leonardo da vinci has never won an oscar.
cancerously: chatwithjack: thelumpster: ...
laziismorez: i-might-as-well-have: laziismorez: cheesesolvesnothing: laziismorez: fUCK we need to go deeper IT HIT 100 I’M DONE It’ll only get higher from here, lazii
photoshoppedreality: hussiescondensedevil: eating is so badass i mean you put something in a cavity where you smash and destroy it with 32 protruding bones and then a meat tentacle pushes it into a pool of acid and after a few hours later you absorb its essence and transform it in energy just wow That is the most metal thing I have ever read in my whole life.
tothesnakepitwithyou: mathmaticalkrillbits: ukeking: puberty either makes you a hot god or a potato What if it makes you a hot potato What if i made you a potato god?
sylphoftime: i think the best part of “do you hear the people sing” in the movie is marius’ face at the end